Stel je de volgende situatie voor
Stel je zit op een motor, met je helm bijna plat op de tank en wil net, met volgens
jou een hoge snelheid, insturen voor een mooie bocht naar rechts
dan PLOTSELING, zie je dat er een vrachtwagen alsmaar links voor je blijft rijden
en de bus rechtsvoor je maar niet dichterbij komt
Rechts van je zit een toeterende auto en links van je is vrij diep ravijn...
Verder vliegt er nog een helikopter boven je met sirenes...
Wat moet je doen? ....
Met je luie reet van die kinderdraaimolen afstappen.......
Moppentrommel
-
Frank Switser
- Site Owner
- Berichten: 2521
- Lid geworden op: 13 aug 2009 10:50
-
Frank Switser
- Site Owner
- Berichten: 2521
- Lid geworden op: 13 aug 2009 10:50
Re: Moppentrommel
>>> How to Shower Like a Woman:
>> >
>> > Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
>> > laundry hamper according to lights and darks
>> >
>> > Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
>> >
>> > If you see husband along the way, cover up any
>> > exposed areas.
>> >
>> > Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -
>> > make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts,etc.
>> >
>> > Get in the shower.
>> >
>> > Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
>> > cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
>> >
>> > Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage
>> > shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
>> >
>> > Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
>> >
>> > Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
>> > conditioner enhanced.
>> >
>> > Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
>> > for 10 minutes until red.
>> >
>> > Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and
>> > jaffa cake body wash.
>> >
>> > Rinse conditioner off hair.
>> >
>> > Shave armpits and legs.
>> >
>> > Turn off shower.
>> >
>> > Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
>> >
>> > Spray mold spots with Tilex.
>> >
>> > Get out of shower.
>> >
>> > Dry with towel the size of a small country.
>> >
>> > Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
>> >
>> > Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
>> > towel on head.
>> >
>> > If you see husband along the way, cover up any
>> > exposed areas.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > How to Shower Like a Man:
>> >
>> >
>> > Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of
>> >the bed and leave them in a pile.
>> >
>> > Walk naked to the bathroom.
>> >
>> > If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at
>> > her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
>> >
>> > Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
>> >
>> > Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your
>> > butt.
>> >
>> > Get in the shower.
>> >
>> > Wash your face.
>> >
>> > Wash your armpits.
>> >
>> > Blow your nose in your hands and let the water
>> > rinse them off.
>> >
>> > Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the
>> > shower.
>> >
>> > Spend majority of time washing privates and
>> > surrounding area.
>> >
>> > Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
>> > stuck on the soap.
>> >
>> > Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
>> >
>> > Pee.
>> >
>> > Rinse off and get out of shower.
>> >
>> > Partially dry off.
>> >
>> > Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
>> >was hanging out of tub the whole time.
>> >
>> > Admire wiener size in mirror again.
>> >
>> > Leave shower curtain open, the wet mat on floor,
>> > and leave the light and fan on.
>> >
>> > Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
>> >
>> > If you pass your wife, pull off towel, shake wiener
>> >at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.
>> >
>> > Throw wet towel on bed.
>> >
>> > If there is anyone among you who did not laugh
>> > at the truth behind this, there is something so
>> >very wrong with you.
>> >
>> > Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!
>>
>> >
>> > Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
>> > laundry hamper according to lights and darks
>> >
>> > Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
>> >
>> > If you see husband along the way, cover up any
>> > exposed areas.
>> >
>> > Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -
>> > make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts,etc.
>> >
>> > Get in the shower.
>> >
>> > Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
>> > cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
>> >
>> > Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage
>> > shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
>> >
>> > Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
>> >
>> > Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
>> > conditioner enhanced.
>> >
>> > Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
>> > for 10 minutes until red.
>> >
>> > Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and
>> > jaffa cake body wash.
>> >
>> > Rinse conditioner off hair.
>> >
>> > Shave armpits and legs.
>> >
>> > Turn off shower.
>> >
>> > Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
>> >
>> > Spray mold spots with Tilex.
>> >
>> > Get out of shower.
>> >
>> > Dry with towel the size of a small country.
>> >
>> > Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
>> >
>> > Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
>> > towel on head.
>> >
>> > If you see husband along the way, cover up any
>> > exposed areas.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> > How to Shower Like a Man:
>> >
>> >
>> > Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of
>> >the bed and leave them in a pile.
>> >
>> > Walk naked to the bathroom.
>> >
>> > If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at
>> > her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
>> >
>> > Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
>> >
>> > Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your
>> > butt.
>> >
>> > Get in the shower.
>> >
>> > Wash your face.
>> >
>> > Wash your armpits.
>> >
>> > Blow your nose in your hands and let the water
>> > rinse them off.
>> >
>> > Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the
>> > shower.
>> >
>> > Spend majority of time washing privates and
>> > surrounding area.
>> >
>> > Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
>> > stuck on the soap.
>> >
>> > Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
>> >
>> > Pee.
>> >
>> > Rinse off and get out of shower.
>> >
>> > Partially dry off.
>> >
>> > Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
>> >was hanging out of tub the whole time.
>> >
>> > Admire wiener size in mirror again.
>> >
>> > Leave shower curtain open, the wet mat on floor,
>> > and leave the light and fan on.
>> >
>> > Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
>> >
>> > If you pass your wife, pull off towel, shake wiener
>> >at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.
>> >
>> > Throw wet towel on bed.
>> >
>> > If there is anyone among you who did not laugh
>> > at the truth behind this, there is something so
>> >very wrong with you.
>> >
>> > Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!
>>
Re: Moppentrommel
Hihihi, hij is goed!
-
Frank Switser
- Site Owner
- Berichten: 2521
- Lid geworden op: 13 aug 2009 10:50
Re: Moppentrommel
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
This is for everyone who likes those heart-warming bullshit stories
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same elephant.
This is for everyone who likes those heart-warming bullshit stories
-
Frank Switser
- Site Owner
- Berichten: 2521
- Lid geworden op: 13 aug 2009 10:50
Re: Moppentrommel
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking rncounter.
In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that sis employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what
he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which was worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!'
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut
Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. but push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!
In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that sis employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what
he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which was worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!'
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut
Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. but push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!
-
Gerkenator
- Berichten: 357
- Lid geworden op: 10 okt 2011 18:16
Re: Moppentrommel
mijn hoofd doet zeer van al dat engels.
Als ik de grens passeer naar Belgie, stijgt het gemiddeld IQ per persoon in beide landen.
-
Frank Switser
- Site Owner
- Berichten: 2521
- Lid geworden op: 13 aug 2009 10:50
Re: Moppentrommel
Je hoeft het niet te lezen hoor...... 
-
Frank Switser
- Site Owner
- Berichten: 2521
- Lid geworden op: 13 aug 2009 10:50
Re: Moppentrommel
A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman. "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit when you hear the price."
As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman. "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit when you hear the price."
-
Titanibird
- Berichten: 45
- Lid geworden op: 02 aug 2013 16:13
Re: Moppentrommel
Staat ik 's-morgens bij de tramhalte
Ziet ik daar een konijn met een lantarenpaal op zijn schouder!
Dus ik vraag aan dat konijn: 'waarom heb jij een lantarenpaal op je schouder?'
'nou...' zegt het konijn, 'dat is om de vossen af te schrikken'
'maar...' zegt ik tegen dat konijn, 'hier zijn toch helemaal geen vossen?'
'Precies' zegt het konijn, 'zie je wel dat het werkt'
Ziet ik daar een konijn met een lantarenpaal op zijn schouder!
Dus ik vraag aan dat konijn: 'waarom heb jij een lantarenpaal op je schouder?'
'nou...' zegt het konijn, 'dat is om de vossen af te schrikken'
'maar...' zegt ik tegen dat konijn, 'hier zijn toch helemaal geen vossen?'
'Precies' zegt het konijn, 'zie je wel dat het werkt'
Keep The Rubber Down Met trots presenteer ik u...
-
Titanibird
- Berichten: 45
- Lid geworden op: 02 aug 2013 16:13
Re: Moppentrommel
Nog eentje om het af te leren:
Staat ik 's-morgens bij de tramhalte
Vraagt een man aan mij
'Zeg eh...' weet jij hoe laat de tram komt?
'Nou...' zeg ik, 'het spoor ligt er al dus het zal niet lang meer duren!'
Staat ik 's-morgens bij de tramhalte
Vraagt een man aan mij
'Zeg eh...' weet jij hoe laat de tram komt?
'Nou...' zeg ik, 'het spoor ligt er al dus het zal niet lang meer duren!'
Keep The Rubber Down Met trots presenteer ik u...